Child proofing

This is not about contraception. It is about one couple's enduring struggle to maintain sanity in the home. We have a son who dearly loves slamming doors and drawers. Cabinet doors. Slam. Door. Slam. Drawer. Slam. Slam slam slam I am. Seuss would love this plot line. He could do so much with it.

We spent the first few weeks/months getting used to the behavior. We spent the next ten months trying to correct it with every tool in our behavior adjustment toolbox. Persist it did. Now, we have entered into a new phase. We have accepted our inability to remedy this behavior. It is now time for def-con 5.

When you're in a deep hole and need an ally to resolve an unresolvable problem, no ordinary ally will do. What you need at that point is a nine hundred pound gorilla who has no feelings. Walmart. Perfect. Sixty dollars later, we had an arsenal or every child proofing lock and latch known to mankind.

Now, the cabinet and drawer slamming should soon cease. To be replaced with the constant aggravation and irritation of being nearly locked out of most of our house. . . That's where the other purchase I made at Walmart comes in handy. I'm drinking one now.