Obama, we need you!

Ethan. Has an issue. Birds. Flies. June bugs. Anything that flies.

Did I tell you the story of Sea World? Five minutes. We were there five minutes, when a bird materialized about twenty feet from us. In Ethan's defense, it was kind of a funky looking bird. You know the kind -- knees that bend backward, beak two times larger that it's body size. Funky or not, it was only a bird and had no interest in us. No matter, it had wings. Ethan took off and ran about fifty feet and went turtle. Going turtles is to kneel, fold your arms and bury your head. At fifty pounds, its hard to get Ethan out of the shell. But, he recovered and we had a fine day.

This morning, we hit our brunch spot after church. This is something we do. We brunch every Sunday. Today was no different. With one very small exception -- we had an uninvited visitor. A visitor with wings. Therefore, a bad visitor. I did not notice the visitor. I did however notice Ethan crawling behind me on the booth. Knee in the back and all, how could I not notice? Then he went turtle on the booth. I still did not understand why, until Martha told me it was a "fly."

A plate full of chicken strips and fries, ketchup freshly poured, sat idle on the table. For those of you who know Ethan, nothing comes between him and his fries. Unless it's a teradactyl. Or a fly. This time, there was no recovering. We had to leave. With a to-go box of nature's fried bounty, headed to the security of home.

Mr. Obama, we need you. We need your fly striking expertise. It would really help us out. I know you are too busy to come to Colleyville to hang out with us everywhere we go keeping watch for winged things. Perhaps you could give me a private tutorial on the art of fly swatting? Thank you in advance for your anticipated gracious cooperation.